I'm sure you all remember Sex and the City's Miranda's cab-light analogy to men, where she categorically explained to the gals that taking a relationship to the next level (read the ultimate commitment) is not about how old your man is, how long he's been on the market, or even how many years you've been together.  As she put it, men are like cabs: if their lights aren't on, you can forget about them picking you up for a stable, long-term ride.

If you're just up for a quickie, no-strings-attached spin around town, by all means go ahead and flag down an 'off duty' driver.  But if what you're looking for is something more along the lines of 'lifetime service' it would be in your best interest to gain some basic skills at identifying the phase-of-life signals dudes are sending out.

While it may not be completely true that a man with his light on will be game for taking a march down the aisle with just anyone, chances are he's got forever on his mind and is looking for a lady who fits into his game plan.  If he doesn't have his light on, you can safely consider him allergic to any major form of commitment in the near future.  Oh, he may try to squeeze himself in the marrying man's shoes, but (unlike women) men don't wear uncomfortable shoes.

You have to ask yourself (if you're ready for lasting love) if he's worth waiting for... realizing that his (and your own) evolution may cause you to adapt yourselves out of each other's lives.

It's not to say that just because your guy isn't actively looking for a lifelong passenger that he's not the one for you — but don't fool yourself to thinking he's the one for you right now. Don't waste your time trying to convince (or trick) him into forever: it's the oldest game in the book, and you'll end up being the biggest loser (toting baggage filled with heaps of hostility and resentment) if you do.  The decision has to be made of his own volition. What phase of life is your guy in?

Afraid of Commitment Men: Foot-Loose & Fancy Free

Don't even think of tying this guy down; the last thing he wants is responsibility.  Sure, he's good times all the way, adopting an adventure-seeking, chilled out lifestyle, but will likely have a flair for avoiding scheduled plans.  He's probably just completed a major life accomplishment or phase of his life which demanded his full attention and best behavior, such as graduating from school, ending a long-term relationship or quitting a stressful job. He's free and that's how he wants to stay right now.

• His favorite sayings probably include: "It's all good," or "We'll see what happens."
• His Gift to You: Concert tickets
• The Upside: He's terribly exciting.
• The Downside: He has zero commitment capacity and will cause you to go insane if you are looking for a partner. This guy has got an aptitude for not giving you his phone number, making him completely unavailable except when he decides it's time for a wild night out... then (if he spends the night) leaving before you can rub the sleep from your eyes.

Selfish Men: All-About-Me

Some of you may testify that this phase is a genetically ingrained, perpetual impairment of the male sex.  While this may or may not be the case, there is a distinct phase in every man's life when he is focused intently on figuring out who he is, reflecting on his goals and life-path.

He may have been thrust into this phase as a result of a personal trauma or issue that has provoked him to take stock of his life.  There's a lot going on in that handsome head of his; he'll likely deliberately seek out a myriad of new activities and experiences in an aim to define himself. This guy can't handle a demanding relationship; he's too deep in his own head right now.

If you're already involved with an 'all-about-me' guy, this could be a challenging time, as he's likely to live very intensely — his moods may swing wildly, and he may require some emotional coddling as he becomes more confident in the man he is and wants to be.

This might be a tricky phase to enter as a girlfriend with this guy.  If you aren't already on his radar he may have difficulty making time for you as he plunges into his own thoughts and self-exploration.

• His Favorite Saying Probably Includes: "Ego Sum; I think, therefore I am."
• His Gift to You: A book detailing the many benefits of his newest hobby.
• The Upside: He is committed to becoming a better person, which can only help a relationship (if the relationship can survive this rollercoaster phase). Take some time to do your own soul-searching; take a class and get a full life of your own.  You'll be a better person for it, and it'll keep his interest peaked (if you still care what he thinks).
• The Downside: He may exhibit signs of having a split-personality: Loving you deeply one second and needing 'space' the next. He's so inside his own head that he may not have much space for anyone else.

Workaholic Men: "Working for the Weekend"

This guy is super ambitious - read workaholic – and this lover-boy will have you singin' the blues while he's "Working for the Weekend."

Yup, this guy is looking to prove himself professionally; he's on the fast track and may leave you in the dust if you can't keep up.  These go-getters know what they want and will do everything short of selling their soul to make it happen (picture Keanu Reeves' character in 'Devil's Advocate'). He's high-strung and single-minded on career advancement.

The funniest thing is, guys in this phase often consider their quest for success to be a prerequisite to building a stable future with a wife and family, but they have such tunnel vision right now that there's not a hope in hell of them sparing much time to build a strong relationship. Somehow, they think that once they've accomplished financial security that Miss Right will miraculously fall into the picture.

If you've been dating this guy you may have a hard time swallowing all that 'build it and they will come' mumbo jumbo, especially if you're being neglected.

This guy needs to be spoken to in terms he can relate to: goals and schedules.  Let him know that you support his aspirations but that you also have needs of your own. Be specific.  Warning—this may cause him to bolt, but who wants to be in a relationship where they feel unappreciated and neglected?

• His Favorite Saying Probably Includes: "It's not personal, it's business."
• His Gift to You: A watch.
• The Upside: He's passionate.
• The Downside: He might have a penchant for working late and may not be so passionate about you. No matter how much of a workaholic he is, if he really does feed you the line that he's "working for the weekend," the reality is that he's probably just not that into you.

The Family Man

This guy has reached a point in his career and personal development that he is ready to share his life with someone special.  He's planning for the future and is actively looking for a woman to share his happiness with.  He'll probably be thinking about embarking on the journey of marriage and is screening passengers seriously — his light is on.

The Family Man is looking for more than just a pretty face; he wants to know what your values are, whether or not you want a children (big red flag), and what your vision is for the future.  He wants to find out if you're the one he wants to camp out in the foxhole with.  If you're lucky to meet this bloke during this highly evolved stage you just might be the one.

• His Favorite Saying Probably Include: "I think we need a bigger place..." or "I'd like to settle down."
• His Gift to You: A diamond ring.
• The Upside: He's stable, secure & committed; ready to take the next step.
• The Downside: As with all other stages, he needs to be ready to take that next step on his own, so don't push him, you may just burst his family-man bubble.

What to Do Next?

If you're cool with holding out for wedding bells and the pitter-patter of little feet with your current commitment-phobic boyfriend, fine. As he evolves as a man, he'll likely progress to the 'settle down stage', but there's no guarantee that your golden boy will consider you his platinum-and-diamond girl when he finally arrives at his broody stage.

You may be perfect for his foot-loose & fancy-free, all-about-me, or work-work-work phase, but not pan out as what he considers marrying material (don't take it personally).  Also, you have to ask yourself (if you're ready for lasting love) if he's worth waiting for... realizing that his (and your own) evolution may cause you to adapt yourselves out of each other's lives.